Monday, June 15, 2009


Even if someone would have dragged me by my collar to see GHAJINI in theatres my answer would have been the same of Leonides (300 fame).Its actually not the offense nor the adament cum arrogant side of mine that has anything to do with it.Its the reality that i faced in 90's while watching hindi movies, that reflected the genre contrasceptive scripts to multicolored three piece suits.
I finally saw Gajini or let me say..Hulkini.(hulk+gajini=Hulkini).The reason why i have quoted such a noticebale effort from Mr.Khan is the concept of yet another psycho movie stolen from white people,refurbishing it according to our need, like Bappi Lahiri...Anu Malik etcetra etcetra.Hiring a brilliant south indian musician.Sprinkling it with a beauty with awesome acting and thankfully with an authentic accent, rape like atrocities(read killing,butcher effects,bloodshed,people not at all excepting laws of physics specially those of Newton) an actor come bodybuilder who throws a guy by clinching from his fist.
Now let us see what we may call as a Quintin Tarantino meets Mithun Chakravarty goes to South and makes a movie Bloodshed..Sweet Emotions(read romance)..Revenge..More bloodshed..Flashback coming in and out of movie and godforbid if you are watching it on a television coz the moment you take a loo break or blink your eye you will be completely out of the sequence chain.
If it was the use of technology everyone would have patted Mr.Khan vigoursouly.I mean tatoos,only abs and an almost torturous muscle build and most importantly the use of poloroid camera which by my standards have absolutely never been properly utilised by any actor in any movie so resourcefully.The moment you see anyone you like "khiching".You cant remember or you are out of stick ons "tatoo your arm,bicep,chest,left upper ab,lower right ab i mean there are so many that you can write upon right.
Now "The End" of a what we may see a discriptive movie about revenge.The moment a spunned transfized metal rod(in hindi what we call as Sariya) is forcefully inserted into Mr.Khan's well built eight pack abs.Our Gajini or Sultan from Sarfarosh fame makes merry time and even knocks down Jiah Khan(how rude!)."Read this carefully"
On severe provocation Mr.Khan stand up, pulls out metal rod , thats by the way ten inchines inside his abdomen and throws at his adversary taking a head shot and knocking him completely out of 'now-you-cannot-fight' equation.Now he searches for something painstaking in manner and then like a perfect golfer takes aim of his head and Bang!.(by the way he's still very much alive like an ogre no wait...Hulk.Yeah thats it just like Hulk can bear any amount of artillery on his well build physique.)
Now can anyone tell me isnt that insane.I dare you wait i double dare you wont you say the script is fiction in nature.Do you really want me to believe such physics and human biology defying moments happening all at the same place same time!!
No doubt song sequences,narration,acting and somewhere acknowledgble romantic potray.Maybe im a bit harsh on these genres but i guess everything would fallen into correct places if it was printed "Fiction" on top of it.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Top 10/25 Cartoons Of All times(long post warning)

After such an exhilirating and heart warming single digit replies on my previous post "Worst 10 Cartoons" , here i present(drum rolling and 20th century fox ost playing)...
"The Top 10/25 cartoons Of all Times" (Tadan!)

10 --> this spot is twin shared by Family guy and Ed Edd n Eddy.The best thing about family guy is its raunchy hard hitting expressive and getting into flashback comedy.On the other hand you may feel yourself into a series of dragged jokes or rather 'americanized' pattern , that makes no sense "et all". Whereas...
Ed Edd n Eddy was all about three young , on loose characters that will do anything(mind it anything) to push them far off limits to the word "civilized".But thats the most "oh yeah-ed" fun part about it.I mean they dont comply or complain if you dont watch them and reciprocating similiarly you should not what , when , how they do what we call "Stuff"

9 --> This spot is tri shared by Shin chan , He Man , Scooby doo !
Ok..i know they dont fit into the spot by any genre , taste , color , creed and the "Peeps" who watch them .(but its my list and its you who is reading . So..carry on Folks)

Shin chan all about a under age kid(for everything he's into) performing sinfull acts of stupidity and awesomess in a small suburb of Japan.Its slapstick ribtickling and sometimes heartfelt snobs can be termed as watchable in its Hindi dubbed version whereas its a totally Adult comedy in Japanese(not at all for child viewing..Not even if your 18 and living alone )
He man....i could not smother it to pieces or energize it.This is indeed one of the best cartoons series that ever happened to all age group of human strata..and "By the power of gray skull" each kid , whether in capri or shorts (count undies too) or even in his birthday suit would jump out , from his grave to watch his favourite each muscle built to perfection dude smacking Evil Skeletor and also to glance at Prince Adam's bangla chick oomph inducing X factor judge girl Tee-La / sorcerer or Man at arms daughter / Shee-ra.(phew!!...i have the poWERR!)
8 --> Penelope pitstop / Wacky races / Scooby all star laaf-e-lypics

"HAYLP me..Someone please HAYP me"..and then you see The Hooded Claw rubbing and clasping his hands , lustlily cum patiently looking at a helpless Penelope hanging or tied for her..Death. But (figuretively not imaginatively) Ant Hill Mob always end the damsel in distress's misery on time like Mithun da or if you are southy then Rajnikanth.Best part being the character of each Mob hill guyz (Clyde ,DUm DUm, pockets,SNoozysofty,YAK yak and zippy..sorry for the orkuttish font style).The same pattern was carried off in The Wacky Races but fusing few more characters..and they will be..(300's "we'l fight in the shade track")
1.Dirk Dastardly and mutley in their OO Machine
2. Slag brothers in Bouldermobile
3.The gruesome Twosome in the creepy coupe
4.Professor PAt pending in convert a car
5.Red max in crimson havbailer
6.Penelope Pitstop in compact pussycat(^_^)
7.Sergeant Blast and Private Meekly in the Army Surplus Special 6
8.The Ant Hill Mob in the Bulletproof Bomb 7 (Chug-a-boom) (the Roaring Plenty)
9.Lazy Luke and Blubber Bear in the Arkansas Chuggabug 8
10.Peter Perfect in the Turbo Terrific 9 (the Varoom Roadster)
11.Rufus Ruffcut and Sawtooth in the Buzz Wagon 10
Scooby all star...Had 3 sides yogie yahooies , scooby dobies and the Roten scounderls.Not to mention rotten won only once in the entire series plus it was a gala et a voila treat jaun seven course treat to watch snaglepuss and his co host.(thank you Hanna Barbera)

7 -->Men in Black / Arabian Nights
Agent Jay and Agent Kay were the first men in Uptown Newyork to move their shoulders that while walking they could easily push aside a robust jat or punjabi breaking and entering line on a local mother dairy both.Be it Jeebs , the talking dog, the uber cool latest made to order Guns the series had a pinache storyline and a gripping mystery to each of its episode.Making it really diffult to leave an episode in between.
Iago , Kaleen, Gee(-Nahi),Abu(dhabi) , Belly dancer show girl aka Jas-Mean and Allah-Din(no Offense to anyone green or saffron in religious matters).Each part had a new concept , a new PHRESH character and a feel good end. Which made the so called alladin series a must watch for every newbie kid on the block (so tha he can discuss the same with his friends next day in school and impress ahh-tee-tuhde filled girls in his you feel lucky ..Punk!)
6--> Centurions / Superman

so if you were three friends , three brother sisters or similar tv viewing criteria then every Kewl wanted to be the Guy who ruled Sky then the guy who ruled Earth and then water.Nice series..Must watch..Feel good..Bad guys you are history.

Of all the concepts that ever occured to writers this was the Super hero which remained a eggstra special super hero even if he was working for Daily Planet. Fighting crime , impressing Louis , keeping safe distance from Kryptonite (just like you should from Star Plus and Colors these he was not into Roadies & Splitsvilla so that made him public envy but little did he cared about. ) Strength enough to stop an airplane right in air , thats like (100 million quatrillion pounds of strength per nano second per zano meter in his left hands smallest finger) huge. Great ost(original sound track..showing off useless knowledge) great animation, story line , character sketch, power durability and everything that was required for a successfull cartoon(including chemical X which was later used by powerpuff girls)

5 --> Swat cats / Tom n jerry/Dexters Laboratory/ Powerpuff Girls
Swat Cats --> everyone wanted to be Chance Furlong (alias: T-Bone) and Jake Clawson (alias: Razor and not Bade miyaaon and chote miyaaon..yuck!...just like calling Lord Voldermort Anishtdev)

Tom n Jerry - All time classic cat n mouse comedy for all age group.The series had some crusifying moments of comedy of errors that made late Yasir Arafat , Bill Clinton , Sad-Dam Ghus-ain , Pete Sampras and Atal Bihari Vajpayee(who knows) as the top fan followers of all times.

Dextres Laboratory / Powerpuff Girls

Dee-dee and dexter..Blossom, Buttercup , Bubbles(my Favourite and Mojo-Jojo's too) sheesh.Must watch , hands down end of discussion.

4. --> X men Evolution/Looney tunes/PInk Panther

"Whats up doc" is easily the most heard line even these days. Daffy ,bugs , Elmur etc where the show stoppers of the ninenties and even eighties.

X men series is meant for the we-dont-bother -about-you generation(that has nothing to do with Mtv now days).Gene-gray, Logun aka Wolverine, professor X , Scott , storm , Magneto and Gambit were the characters that were must for a kid growing up in the last decade-era. Needless to say more.

Pink Panther = ost +witty comedy+ i cant watch it anymore god its funny!

3.-->Duck Tales / Gummy Bears/ Tales Spin

So if u have not made your "zindagi Toofani" and been a fan of Scrooge Mc duck, Launchpad, mrs Beekley , Gyro-gearloose (and yes recently my password was Sharing-ga-potinga) , Beagle boys & Lue due n Yue(not yun-hee..hindi*) or if you have not tasted Gumym berry juice and burn the hell out of Ogres in Scottish outbacks and fly a plane recklessly against sky pirates that were cruelly funny to kill you with their one liners and had friends like Punter or rib cruncher orangutan then probably you are a waste(yeah..if you have not seen either of them then watch love story 2050 or rab ne bana de jodi or Hello or Deshdrohi or Sawanriyaan and die or go download them/rent tit wateva)

2.--> Samurai Jack & Justice league

A lone samurai's vengeance to his best adversary called akku.Symbol of darkness..built behind a backdrop of Authentic japanese culture..i hope its enough.

Batman , superman , Flash, John Jones, Hopgirl , Wonder woman("hayra madad karein") and Green Lantern of sector 214 against..each knows state of the art imported built to torture and not kill villians. I advice (not suggest) readers to please watch this.Each episode is an honor to watch.

1. Batman The animated series

Batman = Best

joker = BEst

Penguin = Best

Scarecrow =Original and authentic

Catwoman = nice and awesome ..all in all its not just another animated series.This is THE best.Hands down.I cannot boast or show off about a legend that needs no introduction..a super hero that fancies to work alone & Die alone manner.Has everything built for kill and logic that defies physics and all laws of newton.(what are you waiting for...Dragon ball z to be on air?..SEE Batman and be a MAN!..DO the right thing)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Top 10 Hated Cartoons

So heres the list of all the Most Hated Cartoons.These includes some obvious and personal choices of mine.Enjoy!

I swear this was one of the most disgusting , filthy , monotonus , boring and ugly cartoons ever that ran on Cartoon Network for a very long time.I simply didnt get to know why did people or rather what did people/guyz see/saw in this.No story line..Ugly concept of army guyz chasing a helpless but luckiest sheep running all over the country.I just didnt like watching that General's beanpole legs and Sheep saying..."MAaaaaaaiinnn".

9 --> OSWALD
this was one of the cartoon network show for kids that drilled the soul out of all the humans watching the crap filled show.USP of this show was it came in Hindi as well as English.That made it worst as Hindi dubbing made it even worst than it was before.Slow picture theme , stupid dumb animals doing absolute out of the box boring stuff.
"How can you even watch their advertisment"
--3 year old cousin of mine.
8 --> Dragon Ball Z
Of all the longest animation series that Japanese made for slow and painfull tortures death for people like Akhil , Sidharth and I. This one comes right on crosshair.Never ending concept of some alien super powered guy(read Goku/Gohan) fighting against his best adversary called Freza and his army of uber ugly crap filled fighters.This world famous series is still aired on some or the other cartoon channel and still viewed by fresh idiots :)

7 --> Spongebob Squarepants
This is the actually viewed by toddlers and the kids who are going to be 'Teen soon' .This features a guy called Bob who is actually a Sponge(arrgh) and his team of friends.Statutory content :Theyl do horrible stuff that you cannot watch (nothing to do with age limit)..Its merchandise stuff creates more revenue than the show u can guess how bad it is

6 --> Cardcaptor Sakura & Pokemon
So as u can see there is a tie between them.Reason both are Japanese.Both have a extra strong and gripping story line.The first series was about a girl having magical powers to capture all the Magical and oh my god cards that flew accidently from some kind of Card prison and then creating havoc.
Pokemon(Pika Bikaa) was all about fictitious animal like characters having some or the other powers.Kids loved em.(gotta catch em all ..YUck!)

5 --> Noddy
This is most nostalgic and pukish fuzzy balled typed cartoon meant for toddlers and new crap filled kids.I could not watch this for more than 10 min at max.Though it had a nice soft and kind of appealing theme track but still it was so slow that i read it some daily that turtles and snails were seen saying word Blitzkreig!..imagine

4 --> Ed Edd & Eddy
Oh come on Sidharth this was never funny.The word that was meant for them was Manner(less) or seasoned .The series was all about three extra super dumb kids and their utter..sheer no sense and puke intensifying acts of disgust.God forbid if they were ever send to Britain for a week long excursion and knowledge enhancing trip..

3 --> Courage the cowardly Dog
A dog that is so coward that he scares from ants , shadows , and apparantly nothing!..yes nothing.Plus he had a circular hole in one of his two always visible tooth.Granny was awefull and so was perma sleepy grandpa.

2 --> Captain Planet
Anything or everything that i say for or against this super thrilling pro environment dude.Their was not one factor that made this cartoon one of the most hated one ever! . Awefull crapfilled OST track..ugly stupid kids capable of doing nothing and then saying Earth.. Fire ..Wind..Water..Heart and calling Capt Planet for help.Perfect plot for misery.

1. --> Teletubbies
The Mother of all cartoon/semi cartoon series.Crap King.Hands down and il dare not defame or rather bad mouth about this series...and i swear il never get into graphic details. And im proud to reveal this secret information that YES AKHIL BABEL HATES THIS SERIES.HE DID NOT SEE TELETUBBIES......AT ALL
"Game over"

Monday, April 20, 2009


Imagine using an internet connection of speed upto 154 mbps.(its called HTM 1)
Now what i use at my office may be called as "Yes we can open web pages"(of course it will take some undefined time..probably you will be at your home by the time it opens up but anyways.)
The point is not to induce bad blood or inflict moral damages to anyone but , in this era of high speed internet , without which you cannot even think of searching your desired content from trillions of billions of raw data. Imagine you are watching gmail's home page screen opening up and your eyelids talking themselves
"uh..dude how long are we gonna get bored watching the same thing again and again?!"
It took 4 hours to search for a small piece of information regarding government regulations on M commerce that by jove if it wernt my initial days in my office i would i screamed my veins out "I QUIT"..and i swear if it was my tall blonde friend from Western India (let me call him A), he would have filed an RTI against Airtel people seeking compensatin for traumatic experience he had that inflicted distortion in his mental and physical paraphernalia. But if it was my other tall friend from eastern India , he would have comepleted his work quietly qithout any hassle and bassle and then the moment he would be done he would have definately set fire on the whole office premises...and if I consider my friend Leonides he would have quit the job within ten to fiteen minutes quoting 'hostile and sleep inducing environment' ..Then rushed to his place to open his wooden HP system(as soon as possible) and then open gmail/skype/ymessenger and in next tabs/windows IMDB and youtube and then he would open up xha..(uh cant name this one due to unsuitable circumstances and stringent privacy policies ;)

The scene is so bad here that work efficiency has almost dried up here , employees are getting agitated (some of them are actually doing tai-chi) and the rest of them are about to join Mosad( phew).And the system administrater Mr.Tyaagi is working his ribs out to please autocratic bearbone to work in the fashion it should.

"God bless us with a T1 connection ASAP"

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Saint resurfaces

* correction required
Of all all the long and short , big and small shortcomings of my life the best scapegoat or if may say spiritual parachute that always helped me landing safely to normalcy is the concept of Sainthood(ie 'sant'..sometimes called 'santa' by friend of mine).Not only does this generous and so called being 'Budha' concept gives me an unbeatable mental strength but it also purifies the bad blood that stems inside my soul time after time.The concept is as simple as it sounds and as tough it can be...It says (Chinese acoustic music being played at the background )

"act as Lord Budha would have acted in the precarious situations in you are.Push yourself to limits.Detach yourself from the outer world..Think...think..Dont get angry 'cause it wont help you anyways(Leave all your worries and swines to your deity)..Dont get accustomed to any mortal thing..Try to live without all the things which you are hooked-up right now.(good food , good music , and what we friends used to call "Stuff" .There will be times when you will loose all your guts and glory and the only dish which you would like on the platter is Vengeance.BUT always remember one line as this may be your last resort.."Do Forgive all your enemies but dont Forget them" and there will also be times when only word that comes to your mind is how long..How long will you continue to behave in this outrageously stupid fashion?How long can you holdon to yourself from this unending vicious circle of 'entrapment'(Nice movie though) long can you be "Master Yoda" while you can be Darth Vader...and the answer lies in the question itself..And it is the moment you will get count Ducu to provide you monetary and economic sufficiency and princess Leia(terms and conditons applied).

Till then you can be Obeiwan Kanoebe and have a Chubaca of your own and drive away all the dark forces STILL existing in the galazy far far away...

In the process there will be The Barzinnis , Tattaglias , Sollozo in your life.You will get acquainted to Appollonias and some thunderous Sicilian stuff.But you have to be need to have Luca Brasi on your side and when you know you have become Vito Andolini..

My friend i may say so , the time has come to call yourself as a true 'Coreleone' and start building up your family as your life revolves around them..You get all the pleasures of your life from them as they may again say so "the feeling is mutual".

Friday, April 3, 2009

The Blunt truth..

This story includes some of 'THE' misfits..some fictitious and some real characters.The story had to be narrated.It had to be presented truthfully and in some or the other mischievous angle.So here it goes..

part A "Hand of God"
One of my long time friend 'A' developed a crush cum infatuation cum oh my god! feeling for my another (i hate to say this but..) close friend.To cut the long story short, i get to know 'THE THING' when he was already over this.I didn't know how to react with this , but somehow i had a inner 'yeah baby!' kind of happiness that now this guy has actually tasted dirt.Nothing awful or disgusting or permute hatred about this but 'A' was a guy who always had a subconscious use and throw kind of nature for females..or let me re frame my sentence.He had a "go around but don't feel for them" stand on dating girls(and somehow i wonder what the hell does he actually do when hes with girls.I mean no offense he cant bed them of course)Plus you never know about the mental stature of the males of the community which he belongs to.They may go deep down to Mariana trench as far as going doing uber ugly things are concerned.Its not the hatred or biased monotonic viewpoint but the flow of thoughts or rather inner instincts that are deep down inside that are given to you by your forefathers to to you.

So this guys narrates me the story shading and sketching each detail which he should tell me as a Friend . Finally wrapping up with the fact that he possesses nothing now for her.on the other hand the OTHER friend of mine B is actually a girl with brains of eleventh grader.I can seize the story here by going digging some old graves over here but il revert back(as this may popularize my theoretical character sketched by some really tall west Indian friend of mine)

Now few days before, as pronounced by a 'Friend of mine' i was in a revealing mode.So while i was talking to B she skinned me by pulling me into a 'this cant get worst situation'.Things went by and i drew what i call..."First blood"(that is telling her A had an irreparable crush / infatuation / THE FEEL for you).She did not even blinked on that.Then i prayed to god and asked for 'weapon of god' or 'Divyastra' came with an evident smile on my face that could be seen even from the deep eastern ends of the mother earth...and then I used it.
I could sense her down and out feeling , leaving her with no space to hide.She retaliated back by saying it was noting like that and she cant believe this...somehow with some obvious shoving under the carpet i ended the conversation.

Part B "A fluke over the Queen's Garden"

I bluntly narrated the story page by page word by word to A.To my utter surprise he was shocked.He almost punched me back by saying do hell with you and your snobbish friendship.At that point the sound of breaking of a glass was heard by some rice farmers in Tutsi tribe in Africa.I said nothing ..i just stood their watching him walk over me with disgust and hate that stanched the whole area.I soon realized the kind of persona i carry with myself i cant shoot a guy by saying "dude im done with your oh my god u cant be more arrogant than this" and stupid acts of yours.It had to be some kind of blessing in disguise for me.Plus his constant character assassination and post war postmortem of people had left me scar faced with rest of my family and inner ring of friend circle.Its also a dubious fact that A was literally famishly hated by all of my acquantainces.
The moment he walked out on me i felt..awefull, but a moment later i thought now i am actually free of his spell.Spell of sarcasm unleashed on me..spell of a soul who is almost unmatchable but not at all meant for me.I felt top of the the time when Lucious Malfoy was threatned by Doby in Harry Potter.The Power was mine..Again!
So...where does this leaves me on the front.Left alone..No sir!
i have my inner circle of COMMITTED friends..Luca Brasi , A tall guy called Blondie and Leonides(obviously named changed)

Moral of the story
"revenge is the dish best served when cold"